"Jung says, 'Seldom or never does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly without crisis. There is no birth of consciousness without pain.'
On SOME level then, the marriage may simply have to fall apart. And there are marriages that are beyond all repair. But if a marriage breaks apart literally and dissolves, sometimes it is an unfortunate abortion of what might have been possible, if only the couple could have held out for each other and worked through their next developmental challenge. Because we do, unwittingly, often choose the very partner we need to shatter our illusions AND team up with in the holy work of making a real partnership. "